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RobbieGod, how I miss Deanna. Ive seen her here and there a few times. She always made a beautiful pregnant lady but that was then. I know how horny she gets when she’s pregnant. Smart’s probably giving her all the loving she can stand right now.That’s his baby in her womb now, I’ve sat in her parking lot a few times waiting to catch a glimpse of her and see if he’s with her but I never have. She waddles out to her car and goes straight home. She seldom leaves the house except for work. Our divorce will be final soon and for the first time in my adult life I’m alone ... really alone.DeannaAfter I got the divorce papers, I would like to say I got drunk, but you haven’t seen me drink a drop yet since I destroyed my life, have you? No ... not my style. I will mourn the loss of my marriage and my one and only in my own way. It kills me to know that he wasn’t the last man in me and I’m carrying that man’s baby. I’m going to find him a good home ... yes it’s a boy. He didn’t ask for this so. I mean yeah a body bag to the crematorium I could do, but visiting Gus in a facility, no I could not do that. It would break my heart and Gus would know. It just was not going to work out between us. I know that it made me a selfish bitch to think that way, but it also made me honest. I knew me and I never pulled punches with myself. I just wasn’t a good enough person to deal with it all. Chris had already proved that she was capable of dealing with Gus’s needs. I couldn’t replace her in his life. I also couldn’t take him away from her. The only real choice I had was to walk away. I couldn’t do it while he was sick, but I had to do it. Maybe Gus and I could be ‘do lunch’ friends… probably not, but who knows, I thought. All that thinking made me sleepy so I rolled over to take a nap. Next thing I knew the phone was ringing. I had to fight myself awake, but I finally make it. Then I had to find the phone, which I manage reasonable quickly. ‘Hello,’ I said still half asleep. ‘Maxine,.
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